i miss this girl

[Colin]

I hate this melancholy feeling.

I don't think it helps that I'm an almost-18 geek who has no real friends outside school.  A few months ago I finally found someone who I could hang out with and laugh with and whatever.  She held me in high regard, unlike those bastards I used to call my friends, the ones who betrayed me.  Life was really quite good.  She lived an hour and a half bus ride away, in a suburb of Portland, but making the trek over there was the best part of every week.

But there was a problem: she was a girl.

We both really liked each other, and we both knew that we did things that were past what "normal people" would consider "simple friendship".  And it kept accelerating until we admitted our feelings for each other and we were holding hands and cuddling and eventually we were kissing and all the great things.  I really really liked her.

But then I made a mistake.  I don't know what it was, maybe she was just kinda down or she didn't want to do much.  The details don't really matter, all I know is I kinda freaked out.  In hindsight, I wasn't ready for a relationship.  Maybe things went a little too quickly.  I don't know.

I haven't seen her in over two months.  We've talked.  We're gonna get together at some point, she assures me.  She says we're still friends.  She says that everything is okay, that I shouldn't worry.

I still miss her more than I've ever missed anyone.

It was the one relationship - hell, the one real good friendship - that I had.  And I couldn't even hold onto that.  What a kick in the face.

(And I realize that I'm posting this on a dead forum of people that probably don't care, but I really needed to post this somewhere.  Goddamn.)

[Yuki]

I haven't seen her in over two months. We've talked.

Over the phone?

Whatever you did, apologize for it face-to-face and get over it.

Start hanging out together again irl.  Keep your hands in your damn pockets the whole time if you need to.  Just don't let this one go.

[Colin]

hot damn!  I really was sad last night.

I'm gonna see her in the next couple weeks for my birthday, so hopefully we'll start hanging out again a bit more after that.

[duckman]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eSMeUPFjQHc

[sam]

hahaha i've been wondering what that song was

colin just be cool and relax. wait to see what happens when you see her again.

[balladofwindfishes]

You'll do fine

[MewDragon]

Good luck.